Ahh, do you hear that? Nothing, pure silence except for the clicking of my keyboard keys. Why did I not think of this sooner? Sam went to a friend's house, my mom just picked up Maya. No, mmmaaaaaa, mmmaaaammmmeeee, she hit me, he bit me, get me a drink, can I have cookies? Pure silence.
I love my kids, I really do. In a past life I used to want to be a stay at home mom, cooking, baking, doing all those wonderful things stay at home moms do. I lasted about a year and a half. Not bad. I had to go back to work to get our family benefits, but that was okay. It actually sent me straight to where I am now, fulfilling some sort of prophecy I feel I am destined to fill. (Should I have done it 18 years ago - yes but I digress).
I love all the things about staying home, I really do. I think it was more for me when my children were little, babies. I love those stages. I do like their stages now. Don't get me wrong I love my kids and I love seeing them grow but the fighting - UGH!!! Please make them stop.
And they are set on go at 7 am. Maya would probably sleep in if Sam wasn't talking and rolling all over her and Sam would sleep in on days if she wasn't doing that to him. Day three after camp ended I wanted to know when school starts, for the record, not until September 8th.
Please, don't hate me or think of me bad.
I like to keep busy. I am a working mom (well, not anymore but will be a student teacher for 12 weeks), a student (working on that Masters degree to be finished in December), a wife (heck we all know that sometimes that is like having another child - LOL), a person, and the chair of my school's largest fundraiser that takes me most of the year to plan. I am involved. I do my best work when busy. Most days I love who I am or who I am becoming.
This is why I need the silence. Even for a few moments, to let me zone out. I have friends who feel the same way. They love their kids, want to be with them but let's face it, summer is LOOOOOOOOONG. I think we all benefit from our time together and our time apart. I will miss seeing my kids all day (at camp I got to see them a lot) but I will also be glad to see them growing on their own with their friends at school.
So, please don't hate me for enjoying the silence. The only problem with it is I have run out of wine.
As much as I love people and being in the middle of everything ~ I so do cherish my quiet time. I know you love your kids, and I also know that you deserve a break especially after the last couple of weeks. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully put.....I am so with you.....!
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