Missing you

Right about now 9 years ago I got a phone call no on would ever want to get, my brother had died.
I was a new mom with a baby only 9 days old. It was supposed to be a joyous occasion this day, my son was to have his Bris, instead it was a very sad day. In our religion the Bris still goes on and then you change gears preparing to bury my brother.

My brother Michael.
The most wonderful human being out there, really. I don't just say iy because he is my brother but because he had a heart like no other. He loved and cared about everyone. He loved spending an afternoon with the old, retired people in old aged homes to hear about their lives, he stood up for the people who no one would stand up for, he loved history, his religion and his new nephew.

He was a typical teenager. You know at some point teenagers arevery self centered, it's just part of human nature, life is about them and their world. I had just had a baby and he called me out of the blue in the hospital on a Saturday night to chat. I was blown away. It meant so much to me. You see, my brother and I had a 13 year difference so there is little place for having something in common when you are younger. He was the annoying little brother and I am sure I was the bossy big sister but something changed the summer before he died. He was growing up.
It makes me so sad that my kids do not know him. He would have been a great uncle and they have a great uncle in my other brother but it would be nice if he was here too.

So, today, I am thankful that I have my baby brother watching over me and my children. I love him and miss him and I always will.

I love you little brother and miss you everyday.

Tired

Plain and simple, I am beat.

Stick a fork in me.

Get the picture?

Last night I did the awesome mother sacrifice and I allowed Sam to have a birthday sleepover. Not just his bestest friend, but his 4 bestest friends. (I know there is no such word but the kids, I borrowed it from them)

They were not bad, really.

I invitd them over at a time that I thought I would be off the hook for dinner. Um, no they are 9 year old boys who are ALWAYS hungry.

They played video games the whole time, in the playroom with the door shut. Not bad. At 11:30 I said off with the Wii and they set up camp in the living room. I even got them all to brush their teeth.

I went back down at 12:30, they were playing Itouch, netbook and the DS. At 1:30 I said, enough was enough and it was bedtime. They went to bed and I sort of did.

I woke up at 5-ish. That stinks. My body gets up everyday at 5:15 am so I am sort of in my routine, UGH.

I made them pumpkin spice chocolate chip muffins, recipe to follow. They ate cereal and were all gone by 9:15 am.

I am ready to crash and it is not even Noon!

In the end, my Sam had a fabulous night and he is very happy.

9 years ago

** I just realized this never posted**

Everything seemed so different.

We were a couple, with a cat.

Then one fine Friday morning I woke up to go to the hospital to have a baby.

Just me and my man, driving on the highway. NERVOUS. I was set to have a c-section. I had resolved myself to having it so I was not upset but had no idea what it would be like.

We get to the hospital, check in, prepare.

We were convinced by EVERYONE that we were having a girl. We would have named her Isabella. We were so excited and freaked out at the same time. But I was ready. I wanted to be a mom so bad.

I get the spinal, hubby comes in, we're all set.

The doctor is taking out my baby and he says. "It's a BOY!" I look at hubby and say, "we have a son?!?" We asked the doctor what he thought was a good name between Sam and Ben (remember we were thinking Isabella) and he said Sam. Hubby liked it and said, "that's it Sam." (he wasn't really partial to Ben and we threw that name out there in several of our talks)

So, Sam it was/is. Our parents were waiting downstairs and then came up. So happy. I had this beautiful baby boy.

I am so grateful for the wonderful son I have who is imaginative, creative, loving and his own person. People like him and he is funny. I hope he grows up to be a good man and that he is happy.

I love him so and wish him the best of birthdays today. Happy 9th birthday my Sam. Mommy loves you and thinks you are the greatest.

Weigh In

I have been bad about weighing in lately but this week I did and I had a 3 pound loss! Yippee! I am determined more than ever to lose 10 lbs in the next 4 weeks. I know I must be crazy but I did my BMI and it did not make me happy but I have an ulterior motive. Aside from being healthy I want the weight off but I want something more. I want a breast reduction. I know TMI but for years it has bothered me. This is so ironic because back in the day when all my friends were getting boobs I had none - in fact I really had no body (ahh to think I wanted boobs and curves back then).

So, I have an appointment with a surgeon. I have suffered back pain, headaches and the fact that anytime I find clothes I have to go up a size because of my breasts. So I think the weight loss will help and it's a consultation. So that is my motivation for now.

Sunday Dinners

I have really wanted to get into the mode of making nice family dinners. Last week was Halloween so we just had pizza but this week I had a plan.

I had a nice London Broil and decided it was time to make it.

Pepper Crusted Steak with Horseradish cream on Garlic Crostini

Marinade

3 cloves of garlic, crushed

1/2 teaspoon hot red pepper flakes

1 Tablespoon peppercorns, cracked

1/3 cup of olive oil

2 lbs of London Broil

2 teaspoons kosher salt

Combine all ingredients in a Large ziploc bag completely covering meat. Let all air out of bag and let sit at least 6 hours, or overnight.

Preheat grill or broiler for 15-20 minutes. Sprinkle meat with salt, grill or broil until med rare (or however you prefer your meat to be cooked). Cooking time will depend on thickness of the meat.

Let the meat stand for at least an hour, then slice thin. Serve on Crostini. Top with Horseradish sauce.

For my Crostini I had some roasted garlic from my butternut squash soup that I mixed with olive oil, salt and pepper.

I cut the bread on an angle and then with my silicone brush put the garlic/olive oil mixture on them. I then put in the broiler (Our grill did not have any propane).

The Horseradish sauce I made was

1/3 cup of horseradish

1 teaspoon salt (or to taste)

1/2 pepper

1 teaspoon dijon mustard

1/2 cup of sour cream

I also made a Butternut Squash Soup. The recipe is from my husband (who attended Culinary school - The Culinary Institute of America)**

1 Butternut Squash

1 1/2 head of garlic

1 onion

1 leek

salt

pepper

1/2 ginger

2 sprigs of thyme

1/2 lemon

Olive oil

32 oz Chicken Stock

Preheat oven to 350. Oil, salt and pepper squash. Place on a baking sheet and bake, rotating squash every 15 minutes until tender. Sweat the onion and leeks in olive oil, season with salt and pepper. When squash is tender, immediately remove squash from skins - very hot but it comes out easier this way. Add squash to onion and leeks. Puree squash, onion and leeks. Simmer 15 minutes. Add warm chicken stock, slowly, pureeing as you go. I tend to like it think but make it a little thinner because you will let it simmer for 20-30 minutes and it thickens up then. You don't need to use all the stock but I usually do. While it simmers I put the ginger (chopped) into a sachet and the same for the thyme (2 separate sachets).

I do another puree in the middle of simmering. Serve warm with Cream Fraiche on top. It is great to keep in the house during the winter. It is one of my favorites. Enjoy.

Enjoy.

Proudest Day

Today my baby did something so selfless and giving I am brimming with utter happiness and joy.

She donated her hair, 11 1/2 inches of it, to Locks of Love.

It was her decision. She has heard of other girls doing it, her aunt and cousins participate in a HUGE Relay 4 Life at their school ad a salon comes and does the cuts for people and my sister in law told me of another salon that does cuts for free and takes care of everything for you.

So when Maya came to me and I said I want to do it, we set up an appointment. She looks so amazing!

Here is her before:

Here is her after the braiding:

No turning back now

The full treatment was given by Everson from the Adam Broderick Salon and Spa

I am so proud of her and when my sister in law asked her for a video why she was doing this she said so she could help people, kids who are sick and don't have hair.

This was prompted from 3 years ago my sister in law getting Medulary Thyroid cancer and then after having all her lymph nodes removed and getting the all clear my mother in law being diagnosed with Leukemia.

So that was our day. I am truly so proud of my little girl.